Thursday, March 29, 2007

To Hell with Blogger - lnf

To hell with Blogger. I had posted this once, and then I attempted to insert one link - linking Gogol's name to a website about the author Gogol. As soon as I did that, Blogger cut my piece in half.

Nevertheless, I am still determined. Notwithstanding this stupid Blogger word processing system which has conspired to prevent me from posting my inner most thoughts, I persist.

What I was trying to say before I was previously interrupted was that I, for the first time, bought the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album. It is amazing to hear how revolutionary and groundbreaking it sounds, for its time, and even for now.

The inside cover talks about how the Beatles wanted to do something different, something that would remake their music, and themselves. In so doing, they remade music itself.
It reminded me about when I was reading the notes to No Direction Home by Bob Dylan where it talked about the impact of Like a Rolling Stone. The combination of the music, lyrics, melody, the length shattered everything that was expected from a rock song, or any song.

As it said, nothing could ever be the same again.

These themes resonate with me because I am looking for my Sgt. Peppers, my Rolling Stone. Something which will remake me, my perspective, my existence heretofore.

In one sense, the birth of my daughter has already done that. But I feel as if I have yet to tap into my creative and intellectual energies.

I saw the Namesake last week, and the film really moved me. I cried from the beginning to nearly the end. There are many parallels with my own life: the Bengali immigrant story, the experience of having a namesake. But what moved me was first, the sense of home I felt in seeing this Bengali family on screen. The familiarity, warmth, intimacy, safety, comfort - things that maybe I don’t fully feel at home now. It’s better, but seeing the film made me reminisce about my growing up. That is not to say that my upbringing was some utopia. Far from it. But that’s for another story.

More importantly, was the quest of Gogol to find himself. He who was named by his father after the author Gogol. His father’s words echo in my head, Explore the world, you will never regret it.

For long, Gogol did not embrace his past, but his father’s death forces him to confront it, and then the breakup of his marriage gives him the jolt to go and explore his past, himself, and who is to be.

I am looking to find myself. I am searching to find what inspires me, motivates me, thrills me.

I am looking for my breakthrough moment which will liberate me or begin the process of liberation. Maybe it has already begun.

Finding the steps towards my liberation and having the courage to take those steps, that would be the greatest accomplishment of my life, the greatest accomplishment of any life.

And so what if I've been able to fix this post the way I like it, for this morning’s travails, to hell with Blogger.

1 comment:

lbc said...

rage against the machine!